February 2012
9 posts
“Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing.”
– Ron Swanson
i saw Drive last night.
i’ll be dammed if i didn’t almost wreck my car several times Ryan Gosling my way to work this morning.
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hi.
my name is Drew.
i’m 22.
i like to do weed.
i’m the proud owner of a losing fantasy basketball team.
and if you decide to go home with me tonight, let’s go to your place because i may or may not have roaches.
now…
do you have a special name for your titties…or…?
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Lauren came over this morning,
fresh from Nawlins.
we smoked as she told me the crazy shit she witnessed during Mardi Gras.
after a couple j’s, i decided to get the hookah going.
ten minutes in, she was telling me a crazy story about some whore who she went down there with who fucked 2 guys and then pissed in another guy’s bed during the first day of their trip.
then she got a...
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whatabouttrees replied to your post: i have no idea what to say on here …
Smoke a blunt and come back in 20 minutes. See what happens.
actually i just bought this water bong.
i’ll be back in 10…
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undergroundhero replied to your post: i have no idea what to say on here …
There’s no such thing as “high enough”, just keep getting higher.
i have a friend who used to tell me the same thing.
but now he’s a father.
i don’t trust fathers…
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i
have
no
idea
what
to
say
on
here
anymore.
…can i talk my shit again?
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Mom: i'm serious, Drew. you have all of that talent and you're wasting it at that stupid pasta restaurant.
Me: you right. i need to buckle down and focus on my dream career, selling coke.
Mom: you can't be a drug dealer, Drew...
Me: why not?!
Mom: because somebody's gonna punch you in your damn chest, boy! now, stop that!
January 2012
15 posts
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i just finished listening to Habits & Contradictions for the first time
(best thing i’ve heard in awhile
ScHoolboy Q is a fantastic rapper and i was not aware of this)
so, i’m listening and in the back of my mind i’m comparing Q to Kendrick.
and i’m thinking “…actually? Q ain’t that bad. He might be just as good as…”
and then Blessed...
weird things people searched for on my blog over the past month:
lake bell naked
ass gap
how to smile on demand
leaked pictures of guys (???)
ofwgkta miley cyrus
self-pleasure
titteds
videos balloon eroticos
wierd song goes bb b b b b b b b
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i want to take a nap.
but i can’t.
there’s a raspy-voiced mexican baby behind my apartment
and he’s just standing there
completely alone
screaming
at the top of his fucking lungs.
and it’s one of those tongue-out-of-mouth over dramatic Oscar Award winning screams.
i’d make this little mother fucker a taco, but all i have is flour tortillas and i know mexicans...
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i’m not above breaking it off with a chick over a pb&j sandwich.
you put way too much peanut butter on this sandwich,
and i think we should see other people.
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i’m considering buying a book on Feng Shui.
i feel like my apartment is a dead zone for creativity.
even with all the weed i smoke here
it’s like…all the good ideas that i think of on the ride here become mashed potatoes as soon as i open my door.
and then i get really sleepy.
i’m just not feeling the vibe that my apartment gives off
so i’m turning to the...
i’m a waiter
i’m also very uncomfortable with saying my own name out loud.
which makes it awkward sometimes when i’m trying to introduce myself to a table
hi, my name is….
Juh-rew?
fuck.
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i just realized that every episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm that i’ve seen is basically the fucking same.
Larry disagrees with something Person 1 did. No matter what it is, it upsets him to the point where he can’t let it go.
Larry confronts the Person 1. Doesn’t end well.
Larry comes across a promising opportunity in the hands of Person 2.
Larry finds out that there is some...
Would you catch a grenade for your Mom?
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December 2011
46 posts
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WatchTalib Kweli’s opinion on Lil Wayne.
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WatchFull Crate & Mar :: I Said…
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“He’s a rapper. One of my most sensitive children.”
– God in reference to Drake.
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threesomes that occur naturally > pre-planned threesomes.
i assume.
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WatchB-b-b-b-b-b-balloon Music
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Watchthe bar scene from Weird Science.
Anthony Michael Hall deserved an Oscar for this joint.
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WatchTiRon & Ayomari x Yummy Bingham :: All My Love
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Asher Roth x Hassani Kwess x Kenny Keys :: Pabst...
Watchcommercial for the Whistler Film Festival
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karma is real.
when i was younger i used to beat my little brother’s ass.
i used to punch him for no reason.
smack him in the back of the head.
fuck with him. just do evil shit with no motive. just because.
now i’m 22. my brother is 16. a few inches taller than me.
260 lbs. plays defensive end for his high school. just big as fuck for shits and giggles.
last time i saw him we were playing...
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Watchsexual innuendos in cartoons.
i wouldn’t say any of this stuff is overly inappropriate.
Barney’s nasty ass took that shit too far, though.
Where the fuck should I go for drinks? →