June 2012
94 posts
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deleting-blog-add-my-facebook-d asked: will u be my black boyfriend pls
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i did beer training at work again today
and i drank a good amount
so when i got home i had to take a piss.
like an emergency “drop everything and get to a toilet, quick” pisses.
so when i ran in my house, i left the front door slightly cracked open
thinking i’d close it when i was done using the bathroom.
i took a piss
washed my hands
and headed to the front door
when i...
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the thug in me has been trying to hate Ryan Gosling
since that Blue Valentine trailer dropped.
note to self:
when a girl asks you
“what are you doing?”
answering “training my Pokemon”
will not get you laid.
true blood is the worst.
it’s like a vampire soap opera.
it’s horrible.
i assume you people only watch it because mythical creatures
are involved.
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“they say i can’t rap about being broke no more
they say i can’t rap...”
– me rapping on the playground at the age of 9.
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Watchone of the intros to The Eric Andre Show.
you know what kills me the most about these?
the angle that Hannibal Buress sits at.
i get online
and look at shit i can’t afford
when i want to motivate myself.
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a deceitful nigga
that’s that shit God don’t like
an adulterous nigga
that’s that shit God don’t like
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i want to name my son something that screams confidence
like “Detective Al Pacino”.
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wanna go back to the future?
click here.
Watchphantom.
exterior like fish eggs.
girls and implications.
oil and water.
imagine actually dating a singer known for writing sad songs about previous relationships like Adele or Lauryn Hill (…or Drake, i guess).
for me that would be fucking awful.
i’d always be on my best behavior with her out of fear of public shame and embarrassment.
i mean…Adele’s last album sold like 2 trillion copies.
2 trillion people are listening to how ass her last...
Watchsaddest Simpsons episode ever, man.
my conversation starters during dates
yeah, i have a good number of followers on Tumblr.
one time i broke my right clavicle. you know what that is?
do you remember Fabo?
i can hold my breath under water for a really….really long time. *winks*
you want that rest of that?
so pissed that the season’s over. do you like basketball?
….why the fuck don’t you like basketball?
…
…
you ready to go?
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suzie-carmichael:
is anybody straight anymore?
like JUST straight.
not pansexual, dbjkadjiabiskbdjasexual, or bisexual?
i’m trillsexual
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WatchSAAAAAAAAAAAANIIIIKKKKK
i just started a sentence off with
“so, i was reading this rape story today…”
regret so damn instant.
when i was 5/6 and me and my boys would do our role play thing
Power Rangers i was always Billy the Blue Ranger.
TMNT i was always Donatello.
Rugrats? bet that ass i was Tommy Fucking Pickles, man.
i think that says a lot about my personality.
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you guys are constantly on tumblr
rambling about things that don’t really matter
but i bet none of you know magic.
what are you worth?
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Ziggy x Bwoiii Bari :: Children of the Sun
...
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Karriem Riggins :: Virgo
a snippet from the...
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WatchTom (Aziz Ansari) explaining Apps and Zerts
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zamn, that dumbass post that ya’ll like so much
just hit 20k notes.
someone tell my momma i made it.
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Consequence x Kanye West :: The Good, The Bad, The...
things i’ve noticed about Vegas, so far:
it’s hot as hell. but the shade here actually cools you down.
it doesn’t rain
you can smoke in some of the malls/hotels
the sun sets behind these mountains and it’s gorgeous everyday.
everyone who isn’t black either calls me “brotha” or “bruthaman”
slot machines everywhere. i saw slots at an auto...
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knewdrew:
i went on an interview today.
after passing the Getting-To-Know-Me phase of the interview, the interviewer asked me a question that i had a mental allergic reaction to.
“what is quality to you?”
…was he asking me the definition of quality?
without hesitation, my brain turned to mashed potatoes.
“quality? uh…can you use it in a sentence?”’
i’m fluent in English, yet if you ask me...
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Watchold fan-made video for Who Cares by Gnarls Barkley
compliments the song perfectly.
as requested
i put a link on my page
to all the stupid ass stories i tell.
so, enjoy, i guess.
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three years ago…
i was sitting in the apartment that i used to have with my girlfriend.
we got hungry.
she’s like “hey, it’s been awhile since we had Burger Joes.”
Burger Joes was this place down the street from where we lived
and they had these awesome sloppy ass turkey burgers.
so, i was all down to go.
they used to deliver, but i was starving so i’m...
i tell a lot of stories.
a lot of people follow me because of the stories i tell on here.
people think they’re funny.
but i kinda wanted to be clear
that i don’t make those stories up.
i rarely exaggerate in them.
i live an awkward ass life
and a lot of crazy stupid shit happens to me.
sometimes i like to type about the crazy stupid awkward shit that happens to me
because i...
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dopernose replied to your post: came up with an idea for a story about the first…
Jodie Foster could play the character in the movie adaptation
i was just thinking that.
i can’t decide between Jodie or Madea, though…
